Cars Are What?

So we have cars.

Devices designed and contrived to make us love and cherish their existence. They are very useful, for sure, but why the hell do they have to be so damn UGLY?

I was once taught that by carefully observing any vehicle on the road you will become aware of the current state of DESIGN ACCEPTANCE and APPRECIATION.

Well… What happened?

Did we all stop drinking the Koolaid and give-up on aspirations? Who would honestly state proudly they are delighted to be associated with an item that has no recognisable link to the evolution of Industrial design that we should be expecting?

Raymond Loewy is surely sitting on his heavenly cloud shaking his head in despair while Dieter Rams screams warnings from his educational pulpit.

When did we accept the visual rubbish that “common” car companies desperately peddle to us? I say “common” yet only last week I was in the amusing position of circling around a new Bentley “Something” in my old T5 Volkswagen Van. The terrified look of the driver (I’m not a very observant driver and his desperate evasions were almost comical) couldn’t be disguised under his layer of well-earned smugness. The Bentley looked ridiculous. The overall design is so visually depreciated that even under its remarkable copper-tone paint it looked - well - bored. Look at the rear of a Bentley and you will see evidence of the design department’s lack of sleep…

I am constantly asked - by people who should know better - what is it about the design of cars that annoys me so much. Its actually very simple: LAZINESS.

Motor vehicles are on a whole a collection of under-aspiring products for people who translate this language into their own lives.

Read this as you will.

I have very little time for lazy design. I have been a purveyor of such crimes for many decades while working in the film industry. The film industry works fast and typically desires a visual language that is new and - dare I say - fresh. This translates into a genuine desire to see something new and fun. Well it did. The Film Industry is now powered by computer operators with little or no skill in actually design.

I’ll deal with this topic at another date.

So, cars. Do we really accept driving a machine that is the mobile equivalent of a piece of TipTop White-sliced bread? Maybe visiting a wholesome bakery for a slice of Fig-Leaf bread made from lovingly stone-ground wheat might change that. Add a slab of home-made butter and you will start to realise what discerning people drive sexy cars.

You can too. You just need to insist on not otherwise you will get the same old tripe served again.

The Scourge Of The Grey

People love grey - it seems.

It’s everywhere. It’s on everything. Covers everything and has now fixed itself into the psyche in a way I find truly distressing (depressing?).

Grey is not a colour. Grey is a SHADE. Grey isnt happy. Grey isnt bright or a symbol of anything.

It simply “IS”.

Grey was invented to ensure the thing that was covered by it disappeared. This would be the reason the innumerable militaries of the world like to cover their equipment in the most average of all the varieties.

There are even names to describe the greys. They typically evoke emotions of rolling waves, dark skies or natural elements that dont actually have that shade in its coverage.

Why people insist on painting their houses in variations of grey defeats me. What defeats me more is the local councils who insist grey is a dominant historical colour to the exclusion of any colour that inst associated with this particular area of the colour wheel.